Tired of trusting, loving, believing, getting hurt... But You Don't Stop...

This is a post I relate to in the current times, some content here is taken from few inspiring blog posts and content on the Internet. Credits to the original authors wherever applicable.

It’s always been the same story with you.

Someone comes along magically some day, you start talking to them.

You end up spilling your whole heart to them. You end up making them your world.

You trust them with everything, share your dreams, ambitions and tell them your deepest desires.

You tell them about the smallest things that bring you happiness, you tell them your biggest fears.

You laugh with them, you even cry in front of them.

You share more than you should, invest more time than you have, give more than you’ll ever receive.

All of it to have your face slammed into all the warning signs you ignored before.

So, you wonder if there’s something wrong with you. I mean – that’s the only explanation, right?

You’re tired of being disappointed every time you put your faith in people.

You’re tired of feeling stupid every time loved ones deceive and betray you.

You are amused to see that the wise ones, the learned ones, are those who run away citing lame excuses, ignore, dismiss, sideline, replace and discard you, when you are no longer needed.

You feel ironic that the liberal ones who advocate unconditional love, acceptance are the ones who take sides and judge you even without listening to your side of the story.

You’re hurt that you will only continue to be portrayed in bad light, be bullied and crushed when you try to confront or even strike a conversation.

You shudder at the thought that they have turned your entire world upside down and have made your heaven a painful hell.

You’re tired of your phone ringing only when someone needs you, you know that you are “blocked”, “unfriended” or “restricted” otherwise.

And you know, even if it’s the middle of the night, you’ll pick up their call and go out of your way to help them, and the next morning, you’ll still greet them with a smile.

You’ll still praise their sense of humour and talk about all the fun times you had.

You’ll still look for the good in them.

You’ll still wish only the best for them.

Your own people call you stupid because trusting comes easily to you.

Your loved ones, however tell you bizarre lies often and kick you where it hurts the hardest.

They go out of their way to betray you – and you continue to believe their stories and the lies.

Why won’t you? You love them with all you have, after all.

But people who trust are not stupid, you know?

You just think everyone has a good heart because you are good to others...

And you will continue to trust, have faith and continue to love...

Thinking Loud in the COVID Era

Writing this long post with a heavy heart because of the ensuing chaos, fear all around and being drained emotionally, as my precious world changed by a complete 360 degrees in 2021.

I am trying to recover from the few weeks which were utterly tragic after having lost two precious gems from my family to the pandemic. All the unsaid words, unexpressed love and respect and the sudden void that is irreplaceable, I still struggle to find a way to accept a lot of things and it will probably take a very long time to heal and take receipt of this painful truth.

Unfortunately it is even more wounding to see some of the finest, educated and seemingly wise and well behaved people being unapologetically insensitive and selfish even during these challenging times. 

Like it is said "It is prosperity that gives us friends but it is adversity that truly tells who our friends are." 

I am also learning little by little that to make things little less depressing, we have to count our blessings with gratitude no matter how small or big they are. 

Heartfelt thanks to my second family, my dearest aunt and uncle for taking me in, giving me a shelter and providing me with love, care and comfort, when I had to isolate due to the pandemic and the difficult circumstances it had caused, as I didn't have the means to isolate in my parents home. It means a lot to know that I am loved, and have a safe place to go to, when the people who were closest to me discarded me citing lame excuses. 

My Parents and my Brother were literal pillars, time and again they have been there for me, supported and loved me unconditionally, I really don't know where I would be without their love, blessings and support. 

And then there are all of you wonderful people - my Doctors, Friends, Cousins, Colleagues, Managers, Support team from my workplace, and Well wishers who cared for me, made sure that I am physically, emotionally doing ok. You also made sure that I had a purpose, had goals and this gave me the strength to wake up each day.

Grateful to have all you angels in my life! 

I appeal to you all to stay strong, safe and healthy, ensure your well being - body and mind. Please follow the necessary protocols and take care not to burden the system that is already struggling. It's a precious thing to be alive. A sound mind in a sound body is the greatest luxury one can ask for. Please ensure you live well, are kind, helpful as much as possible and are grateful for all your blessings. Tell your loved ones that you love them and remind them that they are valuable. Always remember the ego seeks to divide and separate, while the spirit seeks to unify and heal. The Human Spirit is a miraculously strong entity and with the right resilience, we can get the better of the most unexpected times.

I've also realized that this is time for us to draw inspiration from within. Devote your time to mindful, creative and spiritual pursuits. Surrendering to the Lord is not giving up but giving in. Giving in to the greatest power that can heal us all, with total faith. 

Lastly, it is our duty and responsibility to protect our environment and save Earth, more than ever now. Let us try to be conscious, to be mindful and try not to cause any further damage. 

Stay home, Stay safe!
We shall overcome one day.

Love & Prayers,
Charu